A testing time

I prefer to try out a new model 4WD on my home turf. Generally, it is easier to make a balanced judgment if you put the vehicle through known conditions - and that means everything from simply reversing out of the driveway, to negotiating a rugged mountain trail.

However, I once received an invitation that not even I could refuse - a first-class air ticket to Los Angeles, limo all the way from the airport to San Diego, and a totally new, super-secret 4WD to run around in for a week!

The PR business making the arrangements stressed that there was a strict proviso. The manufacturers wanted me to try out the vehicle and give them a detailed report of my impressions. However, I would have to give a written undertaking that I would not take any photographs of the vehicle and, to the best of my ability, not allow anyone else to photograph it.

If you haven't traveled first class in a jumbo you haven't lived. It is nothing like riding up the back in cattle class - tons of room, free booze and the ultimate in personal service. For me, air travel will never be the same. The stretched limo was also a new experience. Yet, even though it feels luxurious sitting down the back, I'd much prefer to be up front beside the driver, talking about engines or something.

It seemed as if I'd only left home a few hours before, and here I was in the plush reception area of Light Industry, Automobile & Recreational Services Inc., a business specializing in the development of totally new products, with the aim of selling the manufacturing rights to major corporations.

Chuck Storey introduced himself, organized coffee, went over the conditions of the road test, gave me a quick peek-a-boo at the non-restricted sections of the plant, and then took me along to where Project-X was stored. (I'll call it Project-X because no name had been decided upon and Chuck explained that the group was hopeful of securing the rights to re-use one of the famous brand names that had long gone out of production - although, if a big company like Ford or GM took it on, that wouldn't be necessary.)

Wow!! I was expecting to see something that looked like a revised version of some other model currently available - perhaps a full-blown American variation of a Range Rover or a concept bob-tail like those on display at the recent Detroit Motor Show - but this was over the top! In front of me sat a wide, squat, four-door 'wagon' with a huge tire at each corner and an aerodynamic body reminiscent of a beach buggy. The steeply-raked line from the front bumper to the windscreen, and the high boxy rear made a clear statement that this was a rear-engined beast.

Chuck Storey told me that the idea for the design stemmed from the military version of the Hummer. Project-X was similar in concept - 8.0 litre turbo-diesel engine, hydraulic independent suspension at each corner, 'dropped' axle hubs for maximum running clearance, 7-speed automatic transmission and four-wheel disc brakes. Plus, a smorgasbord of incredibly well-thought out features: recovery hooks that fold flush to the body when not needed, twin-beam driving lights (front and rear) with adjustment from tiny 'joysticks' on the instrument panel, aerials imbedded in the window glass for the full complement of communications and satnav etc, DVD screens and plug-in head phones for all passengers, and much, much more. However, the things that first caught my eye were the wheels and tires - huge custom-built 20-inch, 15.00 wide, run-flat, Mud Terrain radials on 12-inch wide alloy rims. Chuck explained to me how the super-aggressive tires could become absolutely perfect for sand running. We'll get to that, later....

The cabin, or glasshouse area, of the vehicle was also a cunning piece of design. The two-section roof and each of the upper door frame areas could quickly be removed to convert the closed vehicle to an open sporty, or anything in between. With just the door tops removed, you get an open vehicle with shade from the summer sun; with only the roof removed, you can soak up some winter sunlight but still be reasonably protected from the wind. All of the removable panels, and the body itself, were made from high-strength Kevlar. The panels are attached to framework that not only supports them but is strong enough to protect the occupants in the most violent roll-over. In effect, whether you have the cabin panels on or off, you always have the security of a full roll cage. Eight of the ten airbags were actually fitted into the rollbar structure.

Chuck gave me an hour or so of tuition. I needed it! All I could think of for the first half hour was the value of the beast - and my tense actions must have broadcast the fact. Chuck assured me that if I wrote the vehicle off it was unlikely that I would ever be able to repay the millions of dollars that had been spent on development.

ProjectX put a new meaning on the word 'response'. I couldn't believe it - a four-wheel drive that felt like a Ferrari when you pushed the gas pedal to the floor. The turbo came in at around 1200 rpm and if you didn't lift the right foot it felt as if you were sitting with your back to a cyclone.

With the great forward visibility, whirr of the tires on the expressway, healthy V8 rumble from the pipes out the back, and the absolutely secure feeling the vehicle imparted, it was not hard to imagine spending the rest of my life four-wheeling the world. This, surely, was the only way to go.

The next day I headed west across Southern California to the Colorado River. Just outside Yuma there are some giant sand hills that are part of a declared recreational vehicle area, and it is an ideal place to test a vehicle's capability in the soft stuff.

The monster tires would most likely have been OK as they were - even with the aggressive tread - but I was hot to change them into slicks to suit sand running. (What...?) Yep, change them. Included in the tools and equipment supplied were eight serrated strips made from a high-tech composite. Two strips could be secured around each tire and locked into place with a patented securing device. The strips fitted into the aggressive tread pattern and instantly transformed the tire from a mud-runner to one that is ideally smooth for conquering the biggest dunes.

With heaps of power, 7-speed automatic and whopping big sand tires, the vehicle treated the soft hills with total disdain. I roared around for nearly two hours. Luckily I had filled the two100-litre tanks that morning, for the full-throttle madness chewed up a lot of diesel.

The company had arranged the necessary permit and compulsory extra insurance for driving in Mexico, so I reckoned that, as they had taken the trouble, I might as well head there. A day later I was well down the west coast of the Baja peninsula - ducking off the road every now and then to check out the scenery, burn along a deserted beach or wind my way over some disused cart track.

On the tough bits I got to try out Track-Read - a system not unlike a depth sounder. Except, in this case, a digital panel provided a 3D picture of the ground shape between all four wheels. You couldn't get a better idea of the terrain if you got out and crawled underneath. No future Project-X owner would have to rely on shouted (and often confusing) instructions from friends as to the best way to get over a rough patch. Of course, with traction control, three electronically-locking differentials, and height adjustable suspension, the chances of getting stuck anywhere seemed pretty unlikely.

Chuck Storey had a full camping outfit bolted on the top before I left - the vehicle roof frame having strong location points where a roof rack (or, in this case, a custom-designed camping module) could be securely bolted down. No flimsy, bracket-to-rain channel arrangements for me. With the tent up, dinner on the stove, 'X' grinning in the firelight and a billion stars overhead, I felt like the only person on the planet.

The next day was brilliant, cloudless and absolutely perfect for traveling. Now I was spending more time away from the graded roads and getting much gamer with the knowledge that, even if I did lose my way, the satellite navigator would always be there to tell me the way back.

The vehicle never hesitated at any obstacle and I was beginning to wonder how I would re-adjust to all of those totally boring 4WDs back home. Then I crested a small dune and found something incredible. The wide panorama in front of me consisted of a bay with shimmering turquoise water gently lapping a long, curved beach that was the equal of anything I had ever seen anywhere in the world. And, out on the water, were seven float-planes anchored in close proximity.

The closer I got to the beach the more my eyes were popping. Near a pair of abandoned stone houses (haciendas), were quite a large number of people. About half of them were dressed in bright beach clothes and seemed to be busy with a lot of camera gear. Another ten or so were standing or sitting around, totally naked!

With trepidation I drove nearer. A tall, crew-cut guy wandered over, followed at a distance by a mind-boggling figure wearing nothing but a piece of string and a little triangular sea shell. Scott Freeman said "Hi", introduced himself and told me all about the scene to which my eyes were trying to adjust. Scott was part of a film crew photographing the monthly centerfolds for a skin magazine annual edition and video. Scott was also a Jeep fanatic and, as he (and Miss February from Venezuela) had a good look over Project-X, I explained how some of the advanced technology worked. Scott was impressed, and invited me to stay as long as I liked.

After introductions to crew and cast, and a smorgasbord lunch of gigantic proportions, a couple of sound technicians got to telling me about the giant blue swimmer crabs that were prolific in the bay. "You haven't seen a crab till you've seen one of these mothers," said one. Then Scott volunteered to take me out for an hour or so in the big Zodiac inflatable - just so that he could prove the guys were not exaggerating.

Two of the playthings also came along for the ride. I could tell that the girls were not very well paid. Neither of them had any clothes to wear, and it was obvious from their suntans that they couldn't even afford bikinis.

From fishing lines, we trailed some leftovers from lunch and waited for a strike. Whoosh! Within ten minutes it happened. A line pulled taut and made a deep valley across the side of the Zodiac. Out in the water I could see the thrashing blue and white movements of a huge crab. I pulled as hard as I could on the strong line and Scott backed me up. June and September craned over the side, watching in amazement as the clawed demon of the deep got closer and closer. I thought I might speed up the crab's entry by getting an oar under it and lifting it clear of the water. That didn't work: the crab grabbed the oar and held on to it with a vice-lie grip. With the crab making the oar feel like a ton weight it was becoming a serious battle. Then, in a flash, I was over the side and into the drink.

One of the nudes threw me a rope and I managed to put a clove hitch around the huge claw so that the crab couldn't escape, but then it went straight down under the boat with me hanging on, head down in a vertical position. Looking up, I could see the faces of two girls and four bobbing boobs.

One of the girls managed to grab my leg, and then she started pulling it as hard as she possibly could. But nowhere near as hard as I have been pulling yours!